Message Notes
Extreme Makeover           

Today: Bringing Out the Best in Your Children

Building a Legacy in Your Children, Part 2

May 16, 2004

 

Proverbs 29:17 Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.

1. Realize that discipline is an absolute NECESSITY in your child’s life.

Proverbs 19:18 Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.

2.  Accept the UNIQUENESS of your child

Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

 

Proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

 

Amplified Version: Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it.

 

3. Understand that the goal of discipline is CHARACTER FORMATION not just a “simple” submission to your will.  It has to be based on relationship.
Proverbs 3:11-12 My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke, 12 because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.

 

Hebrews 12:7-11Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! 10Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. 

 

Check this out…Proverbs is a book largely about character formation. A tiny percentage of Proverbs deals with corporate punishment. A huge portion is a father discussing the issues of life in the context of his relationship to his son.

 

4. Be CONSISTENT in your approach
Proverbs 13:24 He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

 

The Message Version -A refusal to correct is a refusal to love; love your children by disciplining them.

Especially when:
You’re tired, they’re tired, you’re frustrated, and you’re scared of their reaction

 

Isaiah 25:27-28 The boys grew up, and Esau became a skillful hunter, a man of the open country, while Jacob was a quiet man, staying among the tents. 28 Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob.

 

5. Don’t FRUSTRATE your children

Ephesians 6:4a Fathers, do not exasperate your children;

Examples when it happens: They feel unappreciated, they are disciplined in an inconsistent manner, you are expecting too much, you are expecting too little, you don’t deal with them as individuals, you humiliate them, you are too harsh in your discipline, you don’t let them know your expectations, you have unattainable expectations for them, and you have changing expectations for them!

 

A special word to the DADS…Give your kids what they need the most, YOU. They need your love, your time, your discipline, your relationship with them, your example of responsibility in your life and family.

 

6. To be the best you can be, you need to have a real, growing relationship with Christ!

Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 

John 1:12 Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—

 

Jesus, I want You to be in control in every area of my life: my relationships, my time, my health, and my family. I want to put You first. Today, I humbly ask for your help. Jesus Christ, I admit to you that I am messed up. I realize today that I am not living my life for you. I realize my sin has offended you, so I turn from my sin and ask for the forgiveness that you freely give. I turn to you, Christ, and ask you to be the leader of my life. I give you everything I am and everything I will be. Amen.