Message Notes

Great SEXpectations – How to Put the Sizzle Back into Your Relationship

October 17, 2004

 

1. Get the right info

a) God Created sex. Since he created it, it’s not “dirty,” or something we shouldn’t talk about.
Genesis 1:31 God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning-the sixth day.

 

b) God intends for sex to only be in the context of marriage

Exodus 20:14 (Commandment #7) Do not commit adultery.


Matt 5:28 But I can guarantee that whoever looks with lust at a woman has already committed adultery in his heart.

 

Hebrews 13:4 Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.

 

c) He commands it to be a regular part of our marriages
1 Corinthians 7:3-5 The husband should not deprive his wife of sexual intimacy, which is her right as a married woman, nor should the wife deprive her husband. 4The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband also gives authority over his body to his wife. 5So do not deprive each other of sexual relations. The only exception to this rule would be the agreement of both husband and wife to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time, so they can give themselves more completely to prayer. Afterward they should come together again so that Satan won't be able to tempt them because of their lack of self-control.

 

d) It is intended to be for pleasure also, not just for procreation.

See 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

Song of Songs 4:16-5:1
Beloved
16 Awake, north wind, and come, south wind! Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread abroad. Let my lover come into his garden and taste its choice fruits.

 

I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride; I have gathered my myrrh with my spice. I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey; I have drunk my wine and my milk.

Friends
Eat, O friends, and drink; drink your fill, O lovers.

 

Proverbs 5:18-19 May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19 A loving doe, a graceful deer- may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be captivated by her love.

 

e) For the not yet married: Sex is meant by God to be one man and one woman for life. It is holy, special, awesome, and important. Sex is a REALLY big deal. It is lessened by intimacy outside marriage. Two become one, it is a spiritual union, holy, awesome.

 

2. Strengthen the relationship, then the sex will be better!

a) Communication

b) Praying together

c) Worshipping together

d) Serving together

e) Following Jesus together

 

Romans 15:5 May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus…    

 

Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

 

John 1:12 Yet to all who received Him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God…

 

Prayer of Faith “Dear Jesus, I want a real relationship with you. I realize that I have sinned against you and been my own boss.  I turn from my sin to you, and ask you to forgive me.  Jesus, I know that you died for me and rose again.  So I ask you into my life, as my leader. I accept the forgiveness that you freely give. Thank you for dying for me.  Help me now to live for you. Amen.

 

The sizzle comes from a deep relationship with each other and God!  The path to better sex is not the sex!!! It's thru intimacy! Better sex comes from better intimacy! If the relationship seems to have too many problems, don’t rule out counseling.

 

 

3. Practice continuing acts of love!

Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…

 

Some Ideas:

How you Dress

Love Languages - service, affirmations, touch, time, gifts

Thoughtfulness

Keep the crock pot on!